When is distraction, well distracting? When we stop living in the present and distract ourselves from what is really going on we limit our abiltiy to experience life as it is happening. After about 30 days of riding an emotional roller coaster I finally stopped, took a deep breath and attempted to focus again. I realized I was biting off more than I could chew and it was eating me up. When I finally stopped I realized that my insecurities were begining to rise to the surface and I was questioning every step I was taking. My life was bouncing from event to event and person to person with little purpose. Screeeeech, put on the brakes, STOP!
When did I realize enough was enough? Well it came to my attention after about 6 hours of pure distraction and avoidance. I spent an entire morning at work playing on facebook and overwhellming a friend by expressing thoughts and emotions via facebook, text, and email. I basically barfed up my emotions and let them out uncensored. The benefit to getting it all out was that I was not bottling up the thoughts and dwelling on them. What I did not consider was the impact it would have on the person having to read and listen to all of my emotional garbage.
I cannot control the past and I cannot guess the future. I am learning to sit with the thoughts, recognize what triggers the emotions, and to accept where I am. I am sure I am not done with distractions and I am sure that I will have pit falls when dealing with my thoughts and emotions. For now I am excited about the new adventures that await me and I am content with where I am.
