Clear sky, blue water!

I am sitting in my office looking out the window at the beautiful crisp blue sky thinking I would much rather be out there than in here. Today is the first clear day this week and I am ready to go enjoy a little sunshine. I am hoping to be on the water canoeing with Joy by 3pm. On December 8th I attended a day long canoe instructor course. The course was designed to teach the basics of canoeing and provide the instruction materials needed to teach intro to canoeing classes. I am very excited to broaden my paddling experience by entering into the canoeing world. Starting this week Joy and I will begin training for long distance canoe races.

Joy is putting together a team to compete in the Texas Water Safari a 260 mile kayak/canoe race from San Marcos, TX to the Gulf of Mexico ending in Seadrift, TX. The plan is to have a 4 woman team with me as the team captain. As captain I will follow the team on land and provide assistance with water and ice. Taking on the role of team captain will allow me to better understand the dynamics of the race and learn the ins and outs of surviving such a grueling adventure. The race is non-stop and lasts about 3 days. The only outside assistance that teams can receive is ice and water. If the team requires medical attention or other assistance they are disqualified from the race.

Info taken from Texas Water Safari Website: http://www.texaswatersafari.org

Legend has it that back around 1962 Frank Brown and Bill "Big Willie" George decided to take their "V" bottom boat, without a motor, from San Marcos to Corpus Christi. They accomplished their mission in about 30 days and decided that other people should have the opportunity to experience the same journey. So in 1963 they set up the first Texas Water Safari.

The Safari is a long, tough nonstop, marathon canoe racing adventure, which traverses 260 miles of challenging rivers and bays. Although the rate varies from year to year depending on water conditions, in previous Safaris as few as two teams out of sixty starters managed to reach the finish line. Many participants enter the Safari with no intention of winning, but with aspirations of joining the elite group of finishers and earning the coveted Texas Water Safari patch.

Entrants must have all provisions, equipment, and items of repair in their possession at the start of the race. Nothing may be purchased by or delivered to a team during the race except water and/or ice. Each team must have a team captain (18 years old, or older) whose responsibility it is to follow the team by vehicle (car, truck, or bicycle) to keep track of their location and condition and give them water and/or ice. During the Safari, teams may not receive any assistance of any kind except verbal. Teams must be prepared to travel day and night, nonstop to be competitive, but teams who occasionally stop for sleep have been able to reach mandatory checkpoint cutoff times and cross the finish line by the 100 hour deadline.

In the 2007 race a 6 person canoe split in half in the first 19 miles of the race. The participants used duct tape and other supplies to repair the boat and despite all obstacles they finished the race. The Texas Water Safari is a great testament of how much you can accomplish if you simply put your mind and body to the task. Shortly after the Safari I will compete with Joy in the CR100 race from Bastrop, TX to Columbus, TX on the Colorado river.

I am excited about the many adventures ahead of me on the water!

7 Songs

Anna tagged me with the challenge of listing 7 songs that I am into right now so here goes... My music taste is centered around singer/songwriter folksy tunes with incredible lyrics.

1) Soul Suckers - Amos Lee "Did you believe them when they told you they discovered you? And that everything is free as long as you do everything they tell you to?" This song hit me a few months ago and it has been a constant theme for me as I consider returning to my art. I played the song for my friend Wendy Colonna because I really believe she is on the verge of being discovered.

2) Hole in my pocket - Ruthie Foster "Show me ways to save my soul..." Shannon played this one night while we were sitting in our garage lounge having a conversation and it caught my attention.

3) Walking with a Ghost - Tegan and Sara "No matter which way you go, no matter which way you stay, go out of my mind, out of my mind" This song is a bit catchy and high pitched but I like it anyway.

4) Happy Phantom - Tori Amos "Woooo Hoooo Things are getting better!" Yes things are getting better!

5) Caught in the Rain - Doria Roberts "What do you do when you are caught in the rain do you run for cover do you stand in the middle of it?" I would stand in the middle of the rain and enjoy the pleasure of the water on my face.

6) Strange - Suzanna Choffel "Strange how the heart works so fast,
moves in love, moves out love quicker than the past just passed you by. yeah, it just passed you by. It's impossible to go back to a minute. Recognize how you feel so you know it when you're in it, know it when you're in it. Then you won't have to lie to yourself. no you won't have to lie to yourself." I am finding it is not so strange to experience emotions and to be able to recognize how you feel in the moment, I am enjoying my moments daily.

7) Captain Kirk - Bob Schneider "I just wanna feel good, I don't wanna hurt no body. I just wanna get good time outta my life" As I am forging new paths in my life I am really enjoying finding the things I love most about life and going after them.

Fall down, get right back up again

Sometimes you have to fall to fully understand what it means to climb up. Yesterday I learned the lesson of falling the hard way. I challenged myself to go a step further to conquer a piece of the rock wall I had previously not attempted. I was successful in making it to the top and then quickly realized I did not know how to get down. As I was hanging on the wall I had the fear of falling and the fear of being seriously injured. I attempted to make myself climb back down the wall and each time I came to a road block and failed to lower myself. I tried to go up or to traverse over to another route and my muscles failed me. After a few minutes my hands grew sweaty and my arms and legs started to shake. I knew that it was inevitable that I was going to fall from the wall. I was not harnessed in I was simply hanging about 15 feet in the air with no where to go. I had two people below me spotting but I was too high for them to really help. I knew the mat was below me but that did not give me a lot of consolation that I would not be injured. Eventually the inevitable came true and I slipped off the wall. I landed on my feet and rolled over backwards. Needless to say I am a bit sore today but the good news is I did not seriously injure myself. We all take chances from time to time and I knew that overcoming that last step on the wall was a challenge. I succeeded in the first challenge and failed to realize the next obstacle. The fall gave me perspective and let me know my limits. I now understand the importance of the top rope when mastering new moves and the security provided in using the safer method. I will continue to push myself with the thought of falling to keep safety in my mind. I am sure I will have more falls both on the wall and in life as I venture into uncharted territory. I cherish the opportunity to push beyond my limits and the reality of knowing where the limits are. I did not let the fall deter me in climbing the rest of the evening, instead I put on my harness and went right back up the wall.

Trinidad and Tobago pictures

Trinidad and Tobago October 19th

A trip to the Caribbean wouldn't be complete without a good dose of sunshine. After two days on the water and sand Shannon and I were still looking pretty white. We decided we would make one last trip to the beach and we both made the decision to forgo the sunscreen. Apparently it only takes about 2 hours to turn two of the whitest women around into lobsters. We spent time laying in the sun and swimming to enjoy our last morning on Tobago. We were scheduled to take the ferry from Tobago to Trinidad at 1:30 pm. We left the beach around 11am and decided to make lunch, pack and figure out how to get to Scarborough to catch the ferry. When we got back to the house we ran into Eleanor and made arrangements to pay for our stay. Without access to and ATM we had to pool together US and TT$ to pay our dues. She asked us what time we were leaving and we said 1:30pm.
Eleanor said oh my you should be to the ferry 2 hours early to make sure you get your boarding pass. With that information we had to kick into high gear to make lunch, eat, pack and find a way to the ferry. We were ready to leave around noon and we made an attempt to get a route taxi outside the house. Our first attempt did not work because the gentleman was scheduled to take another route. Next we decided to go to Roshakies place to see if the same guy that gave us a ride to the beach would drop us off at the ferry. Thank goodness he decided to give us another ride and we made it to the boat on time. The ferry was amazing! The government purchased two brand new ferry boats in the last couple years. The boats transport cars and people from one island to the other for 50TT or about $8US. The seating area was set up as if you were on a luxury cruise liner. I was a bit nervous that I would be sea sick but I quickly realized that the boat was large enough that the waves really did not have an impact. The old ferries took over 5 hours to get to the Port of Spain. The new boat drops you to the other island in about 2.5 hours. Jose picked us back up at the ferry and transported us to the airport where we stayed at the Bel Air hotel on the edge of the airport. This ended up being the most expensive and worst place we stayed during the trip. We had a lot of time to kill so we decided to take some fun pictures around the hotel. At dinner we had a good laugh at the decor and the fact that the bread was served on a plate with a longhorn on it.




We had a 5:30am wake up call and we boarded the plane to Houston. At the airport we made it through all of the security check points and we were hanging out by our gate when we were approached by a man from security and immigration. He asked to speak with us for a few minutes. The man looked at Shannon's passport and then he looked at me and said and you are Kimberly, correct? This freaked me out because I did not have my passport out yet and he did not see any of my IDs. He said they were doing random checks on visitors to the country. He asked us questions about why we were in the country and where we stayed. He informed us that they had some issues with people staying at our first guest house and he was confirming that everything was OK. I think he was also trying to make sure we were not smuggling anything illegal out of the country. Thank goodness he realized we were very innocent and a bit naive about things we would possibly be taking out of the country. He let us go and we waited for our plane. Our flight took us across the Caribbean and we cruised over Cuba. When we landed in Houston we went through customs and had to put our bags back through security. Shannon purchased a bottle of rum and we didn't think about the fact that it would need to go into our checked bags. When security found the rum we had to take Shannon's backpack back to security and check it. We finally made it to our gate for the last leg of our journey.

Trinidad and Tobago October 18th

We started our day with another adventure to find breakfast. We walked to the Hotel on the corner hoping they were serving food and again found out that the kitchen was not open. We ended up purchasing some fresh fruit from a local produce stand. On our way back to the guest house we stopped at the store and picked up some eggs, bread, yogurt and granola to complete our breakfast. The local store is an adventure in itself. As you can see from the picture there is nothing telling you that it is a store and it is difficult to imagine the mix of items in this small location. The lady at the produce stand gave us a wonderful avocado that we used for our sandwiches for the next two days.

Instead of booking trips with the guys at Store Bay we decided to book a trip from Johnson's Sea Tours right outside our guest house in Buccoo Bay. On the day we were scheduled to go out on the boat we had a thunderstorm hit right as we were supposed to go out on the water. We were afraid the storm was going to disrupt our plans to see the reef and to snorkle. We talked to the ladies in the tour stand and they said we could go out at anytime. We took the opportunity to return to the house and take a nap and we were pleasantly surprised with good weather in the afternoon. Around 1:30pm we went back across the street and we met up with Captain Johnson to go out on the boat. Captain Shabah Johnson took us out to Buccoo Reef on the Glass Bottom boat Bretana. The boat normally holds 14 to 18 passengers but we were the only tourists in town so we were excited to have a private tour. We were able to see the coral bottom as we drove over the reef. Shabah took us to the far edge of the reef and let us jump in and snorkle for about an hour. The reef has more than 40 species of fish and many types of coral. It is easy to see where the reef is in the water by watching where the white caps hit. This was my first experience snorkeling in the ocean and I was impressed with the coral and many colored fish. Shabah then took us to an area called Nylon pool where the water is crystal clear. Nylon pool is only about 3 feet deep and the locals will tell you that a dip in the pool will make you feel years younger!
After our trip we decided to head to another beach about 2 miles down the road called Mt. Irvine beach. As we started to walk out of town one of the locals asked us where we were off to this fine afternoon and offered to give us a ride to the beach. We gladly accepted the ride. We spent the afternoon at the beach playing in the water and drinking rum and coke. I had the opportunitiy to take a sit on top kayak out with a guide and I really enjoyed the opportunity to paddle around the bay.

Trinidad and Tobago October 17th

After a long day and and evening of Caribbean beers we woke up and decided to head out for breakfast. We walked through Buccoo and did not find any where that served breakfast. We found a hotel at the main intersection with a restuarant but it was also closed. We quickly realized that most of the restaurants are limited in service because it is not tourist season. We attempted to catch a route taxi and it took us about 30 minutes to catch a ride. When the driver picked up up he drove us to Store Bay in Crown Point. Store Bay is a very popular destination right around the corner from the airport. The Bay has vendors that serve local food. We decided to try some crab and dumplins and a chicken roti. The lunch spot served hard shell crab and dumplins soaked in a curry sauce with plastic utensils. As you can see from the picture we attempted to use our hands to eat the food and we made a good mess. In the front of the picture is the remains of the chicken roti. Both dishes had the same curry sauce and they both provided a nice challenge for eating. The roti came complete with chicken bones! After we finished eating we walked down to the beach. Store beach is very small beach with beautiful water. The beach is lined with chairs and umbrellas that you can rent for $20TT about $3US. As soon as we approached the beach we had a guy named Jerry approach us about setting up a trip to Buccoo reef. He was attempting to sell us a boat ride and a BBQ. We said we were not interested at this time and about 5 minutes later we had another guy trying to sell us a trip. He said his boat was called "Cool Runnings". We returned to Buccoo Bay and took a much needed nap during a thunderstorm. We then decided to get ready and go to dinner at the Italian Restaurant next door to the guest house. The restaurant was very upscale for the location. We enjoyed some calamari for an appatizer and we each enjoyed a pasta dish. We finished dinner with some excellent Gelato desserts.

Tobago October 16th continued

After our trip to ASA Wright we headed down the other side of the mountain toward the airport. We had extra time to kill before our flight to Tobago so we took a few extra detours along the way. The first stop we made was to Trevors a local bar to sample our first Caribbean beer. Jose bought us our first beers.



We had one more stop before our flight at a Monastery high up on a hill. We had an excellent view of the valley from here.
Next stop was to the airport for a quick 20 minute flight to Tobago. We were scheduled to leave at 8pm and everyone said to get to the airport early. We arrived at 6pm and discovered that a flight was leaving at 6:45pm and we were able to make it on the flight. We arrived in Tobago at about 7:15pm and hired a route taxi to take us to Buccoo. We made arrangements at a wonderful guest house near the water in Buccoo Bay. The driver took us to the house and we were greeted by two happy dogs. The hostess was not expecting us for another couple of hours and at first we were not sure how to get into the house. I ended up calling her and she came down from her upstairs accommodations to greet us at the gate. She showed us around the house and let us know how to get in and out on our own. We were the only guests at the house. With no A/C there were several fans around the house to make it a comfortable stay. Elenor is from Germany and was very pleasant to deal with. We asked her if there was anywhere to eat and she let us know that it was a little late for dinner but that we could walk down the road and get some food from the local shops. We ended up at Shirl's finger licking for some fried chicken, cole slaw and fries.


After dinner we made our way to the local bar for a few more Caribbean beers. We sat on the patio of the bar and played cards and memory games for a few hours. We made up a rule that every time you had to drink during a game you had to say "Buccoo Cheers!" If you failed to do the cheers you had to take 5 drinks. Turns out that Shannon is much better at remembering to do this than I am. We had the opportunity to talk to several local Toboggans at the bar and we had a great evening. Good thing for us the bar is only two doors down from the guest house. As the guide book explained Seaside Gardens is within staggering distance of "Sunday School." Sunday School is a local party that happens every Sunday in Buccoo. People come from all over the island for the weekly party where they enjoy time on the beach and at the local bars. Buccoo is also famous for the yearly goat races and the race center is right next to the beach.

Trinidad and Tobago October 16th

Tuesday Morning we started an all day tour of Trinidad. The tour began with a drive along the North Coast Mountain range. The views were magnificent along the drive. Our first destination was Maracas Bay. The picture above was from a lookout just before we arrived at Maracas Bay. During the tourist season Maracas Bay is one of the most popular beaches in Trinidad. Due to the recent rains the beach facilities were flooded out at Maracas Bay. We arrived at the beach at about 10am and the area was deserted. There was one couple sitting on a bench enjoying the sound of the waves hitting the beach.



We walked on the beach for a few minutes and then headed down the road to Las Cueves Bay. The facilities at Las Cueves were in much better shape. They maintain the beach showers and restrooms by charging $1TT everytime you use the restroom. There is not an entry fee to the beach so it is very resonable to charge and maintain wonderful beach faciliities. We decided to change and take a quick swim at this wonderful beach. Aside from one man on the beach with his two dogs we were the only people around. Jose said that the beach gets very busy later in the day. We arrived just as the faciliities were being opened up.



The swim was very refreshing and we enjoyed the clear blue water and soft sand under our feet. We did not have a lot of time to stay on the beach because we were scheduled for lunch at the ASA Wright Nature center at noon and we were still about an hour and a half drive to get to our destination.

The drive took us on the highest road on the island. Jose kept saying we are going to the "Tippy Top" now. Along the drive we encountered a whole bunch of trucks with asphalt working on repaving the road. Jose explained that the government is quickly repairing roads in an attempt to show improvements prior to the upcoming November 5th elections. Jose was very into the upcoming elections and we listened to quite a few radio talk shows centered around the elections during our travels. He was amazed at how many trucks were out on the road getting the paving done. Jose kept saying wow so many "truckses and truckses!" He said that they would use the total number of miles paved as a part of the campaign against the opposition.

When we arrived at ASA Wright we were immediately overwhellmed by the number of birds and the amazing sounds of being so deep in the jungle.



We had a wonderful lunch at ASA Wright that included Lamb, lentels, fresh salad, and an eggplant cassarole. Our tour guide Darrel was great. He carried a large digital camera with him and stopped anytime he found an interesting butterfly or frog along the trek. At the start of the hike we could hear a Bell bird somewhere down the hill. We followed the path until we tracked the bird down. We had two other ladies on the tour with us that were from the East Coast, USA. They were very into birding and they were excited anytime we saw a new bird along the route. The hike was beautiful and very relaxing. ASA Wright has rooms that you can stay at while in Trinidad and I would highly recommend staying there for a couple of nights if you are interested in birds and nature.

Trindad and Tobago October 14th - 15th

Despite that fact that we talked about going to Trinidad and Tobago for over 6 Months we waited until the very last minute to make any plans. The week before we left we purchased two round trip tickets to Port of Spain on Continental. Our flight took off at 10am from Austin with a stop in Houston. The flight from Houston to Port of Spain was approximately 5 hours. When we landed in Port of Spain at 7pm and it was dark and poring down rain. It took us about 40 minutes to clear immigration and customs and get our bags. Our driver Jose DeSilva was holding up a sign with Shannon's name on it when we walked out of the customs area. Jose went to get the car and we started our adventure. The drive took us through downtown Port of Spain. The city has some modern high rise buildings contrasted against small shack like businesses. Traffic was good and this was my first experience driving in a country with right hand drive vehicles. It took me a few minutes to adjust to the driver making turns from the left lane across traffic. I quickly realized I would not be able to drive in the city without a lot of practice. It was a little late for most restaurants and Jose was kind enough to stop for some take away food. We ended up with some BBQ chicken, cole slaw and fries. The restaurant was a walk up Chinese place with a lot of chicken plates as options. When we walked up there were 4 local boys waiting for food. They were carrying on a conversation in a local dialect that I could not understand at all. Both islands speak english but they also have their own language and it was very difficult to understand anything they said. We also learned quickly that the locals will speak very softly when speaking to us. This made it difficult to hear a lot of things they said.

We arrived at Monique's Guest house at about 8:30 PM. We ate our dinner and crashed for the night. We had accomodations planned at Monique's for the first two nights of the trip and all other plans were still up in the air. The hotel room was fairly basic with two double beds, AC, and a TV. It appeared to be pretty clean and the hotel staff were helpful. The driver that picked us up from the Airport ended up being a tour guide and we ended up hiring him as our main transportation while in Trinidad.

On Monday morning we spent about an hour looking at our travel guide book to determine where we wanted to stay and the activites we wanted to do on the trip. We decided to walk to a restaurant called Adams for lunch. On our way to the cafe we had our first experience with a Trini man. He poked his head out of a shack and said "Well Good Mornin my snowbunnies, and how are you today?" We laughed and said good Morning back and kept on our way. From the outside Adams doesn't look like much but it ended up being a very nice bistro style cafe. For breakfast we tried the Trini to da bone special that included buljoi and cocunut bake. We also ordered a hummus plate and a chicken sandwich. Buljoi is a mixture of salt fish, tomatoes, onions, and spices. We put the buljoi on the cocunut bake bread with a little hummus. The combination was a little strange for breakfast but it all worked out.

We contacted Jose and asked him for assistance in getting around the city. He ended up taking us to a travel agent to get a flight to Tobago, the ATM for extra cash, and the ferry landing for a return ticket from Tobago to Trinidad. When we were done with errands Jose drove us to one of the highest points around called Fort George for a view of the city. Fort George has a lighthouse and it housed many cannons to protect the bay. This gave us a great perspective of how large Port of Spain is.

At about 6pm Jose dropped us off at the Kapok hotel for dinner and we decided to take a route taxi back to the hotel later that night. We had dinner at the Bois Cano restaurant. The restarant waas very nice and we had a wonderful table outside on the patio. We started with a couple of frozen drink and we ordered a few different items to share. Our dinner consisted of a garden salad, stuffed crab backs, cassava fries with garlic sauce, and chicken samosas with a tamarind sauce. After dinner we attempted to catch a route taxi.

Route taxis are any car in Trinidad with a H on the license plate. It is a bit of a challenge to see the plates at night and we tried to flag a car down for about 10 minutes. We decided to walk up the street a little ways and ended up taking a detour to the Haagendas store for some ice cream. It is fun going into retaurants and seeing items like an ice cream cone listed at $24 dollars. Of course that is $24TT which is about $4 american at a 6.3 exchange rate. After our ice cream adventure we again attempted to flag a route taxi down. A car stopped that did not have an H and we took our chances on it. The driver had his music cranked up with island music and we were driving with two other riders. The ride only cost $8TT to get us to the hotel, just over a dollar and you are dropped at your location!

Backpack Adventures

After talking to a friend this weekend about the book "The Secret" I contemplated a thought of feeling prosperous. It seems that the thought turned into a result this week. I went to my mailbox and inside I found a wonderful REI gift card from my brother. The gift was for my Birthday back in July, but the timing could not have been better. While getting ready for my trip I was trying to figure out how I would transport my items in an efficient manner. The REI card proved to be the perfect solution. I trekked over to REI and picked up a beautiful backpack that I can use for this trip and many hiking adventures. The pack is a beautiful red and grey with black straps. I took some time this morning and packed all of the things I would need for the trip and I realized that I still have a lot of room to bring things back. I found the different pockets very useful for separating items and organizing my gear.

The backpack is made by Osprey.

Ariel 65
Backpacking, Mountaineering Light

An ideal size for the majority of backpackers, the Ariel 65 will carry what you need - whatever your favorite adventure.

* Lightweight women's design
* AirScape suspension
* IsoForm harness
* IsoForm CM™ hipbelt

For eight years we have been sewing labels listing the Principles of Leave No Trace into our larger packs. We look at it as a friendly reminder, from us to you, of your responsibility to the environment you enjoy with our packs on your back. Do your part by learning more about these principles and teaching them to others. Participate in the harmony of nature and leave no trace of your passage.


Principles of Leave No Trace

Plan Ahead and Prepare
Travel and Camp on Durable Surfaces
Dispose of Waste Properly
Leave What You Find
Minimize Campfire Impacts
Respect Wildlife
Be Considerate of Other Visitors

Can you tell that I am excited to start my adventures?

Travel

Today marks the beginning of my world travels. We booked a flight last night to Trinidad and Tobago. In the true spirit of adventure we are leaving many details up in the air on this trip. We plan to book at least one nights stay and then take it from there. Beaches, kayaking, snorkeling and biking are on my list of activities for the trip. This will be the first stamp in my passport and I am excited to add other countries soon.

I feel a mix of excitement and anticipation for the trip. Over the last few months I have made focused decisions to make positive changes in my life. I am looking inside for the the things that I am truly passionate about and taking steps to go after those things. Exploration has always been on my list and I realize that I do way too little of it. I seek to explore the outdoors and to better understand other people and cultures.

I am sure that the travel bug has officially bitten me. Ship ahoy! I am ready to sail!

Sacrifice

"What are you willing to give up in order to follow your call?" Sacrifice says Thomas Moore, is "the shadow in the calling." It reminds us that we pay a price for every choice and that life doesn't hold still. It constantly gives over this for that; it wears down its banks and changes course; it's a propeller that spins so fast it only appears to be solid, but you don't dare try and grasp it.

From Sacrifice The Shadow in the Calling

As my life continues to transition I am asking myself what I want, what I am willing to give up and when I am going to make the change to follow a more meaningful path. Last week I made a choice to end a long term commitment to my softball team. As trivial as this may sound it has a far reaching impact on an entire team of people. They have counted on me for three years and they were expecting that I would be there for them again next year. I experienced a sense of loss in letting go of the team and the commodore and yet I also felt the rush of freedom and excitement at the new opportunities to come.

So what do I plan to do with my extra time? I have already put the wheels in motion to work on my art, to volunteer and to travel. I seek to expand my knowledge and understanding through reading and study. To move forward and gain new perspectives sometimes we simply need to make a decision and accept the price of that decision. We cannot get to second base if we keep our feet on first. Funny how this statement rings true for me in my quest for a higher understanding of life.

Birthday re-birth

I asked her what she was doing for her Birthday and she said I have a date with myself. She went on to explain that it had been nine months since her break-up and she felt as if this day signified a kind of re-birth. She wanted to start over and create a new life. I am tired of telling the story, she said. I don't want to talk about what happened anymore. I wish to celebrate my life and I feel empowered. She talked to me about making a creativity box. The box represents her dreams and ideas and thoughts and is a place of exploration and release. I could hear the strength and conviction in her voice as she proclaimed her new found freedom. As she stood before me she was beaming with energy.

So, why is it that we fail to maintain that freedom within our relationships? When do we lose our sense of individualism and fall into patterns and habits based on our partners? How do we set appropriate boundaries and respect the boundaries of others enough to form a lasting partnership, yet remain true to ourselves? What sacrifices are we willing to pay for the price of love? When is love enough and when do we need to relinguish love in order to live? Now that she knows the feeling of empowerment will her approach to relationships change or will old habits and patterns of behavior kick in?

It is wonderful to witness her sense of self and to see the strength she is drawing from within. We all have the power to remain true and to share and to set boundaries and to let our inner self shine!

Distraction

When is distraction, well distracting? When we stop living in the present and distract ourselves from what is really going on we limit our abiltiy to experience life as it is happening. After about 30 days of riding an emotional roller coaster I finally stopped, took a deep breath and attempted to focus again. I realized I was biting off more than I could chew and it was eating me up. When I finally stopped I realized that my insecurities were begining to rise to the surface and I was questioning every step I was taking. My life was bouncing from event to event and person to person with little purpose. Screeeeech, put on the brakes, STOP!

When did I realize enough was enough? Well it came to my attention after about 6 hours of pure distraction and avoidance. I spent an entire morning at work playing on facebook and overwhellming a friend by expressing thoughts and emotions via facebook, text, and email. I basically barfed up my emotions and let them out uncensored. The benefit to getting it all out was that I was not bottling up the thoughts and dwelling on them. What I did not consider was the impact it would have on the person having to read and listen to all of my emotional garbage.

I cannot control the past and I cannot guess the future. I am learning to sit with the thoughts, recognize what triggers the emotions, and to accept where I am. I am sure I am not done with distractions and I am sure that I will have pit falls when dealing with my thoughts and emotions. For now I am excited about the new adventures that await me and I am content with where I am.